"The Struggle is Real" Panel

Introduction

Good evening everyone! Thank you so much for joining us tonight. My name is Caleb Eissler and I have the privilege of serving on staff here at PV with our Twenty-Somethings and Adult Group Life Ministries. As a church, we believe this is a vital conversation and we’re thankful that you’re entering into it with us. Our prayer is that you would walk away from tonight with practical next steps to foster better mental health in your life and the lives of those you are walking alongside.

Before I go any further, I want to thank my Twenty-Somethings family for welcoming in company tonight and for their hospitality in it all. They’ve helped host and organize this whole event. If you’ve never heard of Twenty-Somethings, we are a ministry for young adults for folks who have graduated high school up through their late twenties, whether they’re single, engaged, married, in college, career, or vo-tech. We meet every Thursday night in the Student Worship Center at 7 pm.

As we enter into this conversation tonight, I want to preface things by saying this. This conversation is not meant for those who have it all figured out. None of us on this panel have it all figured out. In fact, the faith we profess is not meant for people who have it all figured out. If you’ve joined us on a Sunday Morning before here at PV, you’ve heard us affirm this when we say that we are a church where no one has it all figured out, but that we believe that life change comes through Jesus Christ. We believe that Jesus speaks hope to all of life, including our mental health. And when we consider the massive mental health crisis in our world today, we need the hope and healing of Jesus more than ever. He promises to walk alongside us each step of the way and He promises to uphold us. Our goal tonight is to show you ways that Jesus comes alongside us not just in our spirit, but also through counselors, pastors, prayer, the Bible, resources, books, podcasts, friends, and community. Our goal is that you would walk away from tonight know practical next steps to help foster hope and greater mental health in your life and the lives of others.

Before we begin our discussion, let me give you a brief overview of our schedule for the evening. After I introduce our speakers, I’ll have Pastor Brad pray for us, and then we’ll focus our discussion on two primary topics: self-care and walking alongside those that are struggling with mental illness. After that, as time allows, we’ll have a brief time of Q&A with questions that we submitted online for this panel, as well as questions asked during our summer panel that we weren’t able to answer but felt we important to address. To close the evening, we’ll have a brief time of worship to leave us on a note of hope.

Enough from me. Let me introduce our panelists.

Panelists

Merle Mees: Lead Pastor here at Pleasant Valley Baptist Church

Karen Mees: Founder and Counselor at Soul Matters Counseling

Brad Daniel: Student Pastor at Pleasant Valley Baptist Church

John Newsom: Care Pastor here at Pleasant Valley as well as an Army Chaplain

Robie Sullivan: Founder and Counselor at Robie Sullivan Counseling LLC

Moderator: Caleb Eissler

Pastor Brad, would you lead us in prayer before we dive into our discussion?

Moderated Discussion Questions

Summary

Pastor Merle, let’s say someone wasn’t here for our first panel or they haven’t listened to all of the sermons in the “Struggle is Real” series. How would you sum up a few basic truths from the series? Maybe as it relates to medicine, depression, shame, anxiety, and things like that?

John, during our last panel, you laid out a “Recipe for Resiliency” that was really helpful. As we prepare to dive into a conversation about self care, would you mind briefly explaining the “Recipe for Resiliency” for those that haven’t heard of it?

Self-Care

One of the best tactics for resilience to have go-to strategies both to prevent fading mental health, but also to have strategies for when we sense the first signs of declining mental health. What are some of your go-to strategies when you first

Not all strategies to foster mental health are actually restorative. For example, on the surface, bingeing Netflix after a long day at work may seem restful on the surface, but it may not actually be genuinely restorative. How can we determine what tactics are genuinely restorative for us?

Follow Up Question 1: How have you discovered what is is genuinely restorative for you individually?

If self-care plans aren’t enacted and carried out appropriately, they can sometimes be harmful. Robie and Karen, what are some ways you all have seen people mis-use or mis-apply self care in a harmful way? What advice would you give to us as we seek to foster mental health through self-care plans?

Why is community such an important part of self-care? How can community help foster greater mental health?

Robie and Karen: what is science and the latest studies telling us about effective measures of self-care? How do you see that played out in your professional practices?

Brad, I’ve heard you speak of a study that seems to suggest that pursuing spiritual disciplines like singing and prayer can improve our mental health and cognitive capacities. Could you tell us more about that study and why it’s results are important for us?

What are some of your go-to songs and hymns that you all listen to and sing when you are seeking to foster mental health or you sense your mental health and mood slipping?

What are some of your go-to passages of scripture when you experience different things such as disappointment, worry, anxiety, loneliness, and sadness?

Praying the Psalms (Model This)

Psalm 27 (Merle)

Psalm 77 (John)

Seeking God when He feels distant

Psalm 88-89 (Brad )

Anguish to hope

What if someone is here tonight and they think they might be burned out? What should you tell them to do? What questions should they be asking themselves?

Walking Alongside Those Struggling with Mental Illness

When we walk alongside those that are suffering with mental illness, the best means of care make look different depending on each person and depending on where they’re at in their journey with mental health. Our goal is for our interactions and presence in the lives of those suffering to be restorative. What are some ways we can helpfully come alongside those suffering?

Follow up Question 3:

What are some ways we can figure out which course of action and techniques are most restorative and effective for each person we might walk alongside?

Follow Up Question 4:

When others have walked alongside you through hard seasons of mental health, what have been some of the most restorative things they have done for you and alongside you?

Follow Up Question 5:

What are ways we can help folks we’re walking alongside implement their self-care plans?

What measures of self-care should caregivers consider enacting to help protect themselves as they walk alongside others who are suffering?

Suicide has touched the lives of so many people in this church and our world. There may be people here tonight walking alongside people struggling with suicidal thoughts. Obviously understanding how unique each case can be, what general advice would you give to them? Would you say anything different to them than you would to those who are walking alongside people who aren’t struggling with suicidal thoughts?

One of the hardest parts about walking alongside someone suffering with mental illness is experiencing compassion fatigue. What feels like a long time of healing to those of us not suffering may just be the beginning of the actual healing process for those who are. Timelines for healing are never as short or as linear as we expect. How can we ward off compassion fatigue as we walk alongside those suffering? How can we refill our compassion reservoir?

We know that when someone experiences pain or hurt, our first reaction should not be to give them a theological treatise on the problem of pain. Our first response should be to give them a hug and be a crying shoulder. But at some point, that hug must come to an end. At some point, we have to walk through life with them. How can we give them hope in everyday life without preaching to them?

Audience Q&A

What are some ways we can break the tension and taboo of mental health with family and friends who don’t see the value in this conversation?

How do you effectively walk alongside someone who is struggling with mental health but doesn’t believe in Jesus?

I’ve struggled with a particular mental health issue for so long that I can hardly sense or feel Jesus any more. What advice would you have for me?

What are resources we have here at the church to help us improve our mental health or the mental health of those we’re walking alongside of? (John)

I feel so embarrassed talking about my mental illness and have trouble speaking to my family about it to help them understand. What advice would you have for me? (Robie and Karen)

What is the difference between sinful anxiety and medical anxiety?

How can God possibly use mental health struggles for His glory?

Hope

What resources would you recommend for folks to check out as they seek to learn more about mental health and self-care?

What hope does the Gospel give us in this conversation?

Closing Prayer

Let’s give our panelists a hand for sharing their wisdom with us this evening!

Let me pray for us before we enter into worship. Bow your heads with me.

*Panelists set mics in chairs and leave stage during prayer. Exit the stage and stand on the front row of the floor seats to sing and worship*

*Nick sets up mic stand and music stand while I pray*

God, you are greater than anything we could ever imagine. You created the world with mere words. You have never lost a battle and never will. Most amazing of all, you conquered sin, Satan, and all of the powers of Hell through your son at the cross. In Jesus we have infinite hope and the promise of healing. God would you help us feel your presence and comfort and we fight for resilience in mental health. Help us to be agents of hope in the lives of others. Help us rest in your hope and love. We thank you for giving us Your Word and that we can pray it back to you. I want to do that now from your word of hope and love to the Ephesians. God, we pray that according to the riches of Your glory You may grant us to be strengthened with power through Your Spirit in our inner being, so that Christ may dwell in our hearts through faith—that we, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that we may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to You who are able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to You be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Psalm 130

*Stand up and walk towards the center of the stage to stand by Nick.*

*Nick strums underneath me talking*

This evening we’ve prayed God’s Word back to Him from the Psalms. Now, I want us to finish out the evening by singing God’s Word back to Him from the Psalms. Brad explained to us the amazing truth that singing has been shown to provide incredible benefits for mental health. In a moment, I’m going to read Psalm 130 for us. After I do so, Nick Monroe, our worship leader at Twenty-Somethings, is going to lead us in singing this Psalm back to God through a familiar worship song. I’ll read Psalm 130 and then lets stand and sing.

“Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD!

O Lord, hear my voice! Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my pleas for mercy!

If you, O LORD, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand?

But with you there is forgiveness, that you may be feared

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope;

my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning.

O Israel, hope in the LORD!

For with the LORD there is steadfast love, and with him is plentiful redemption.

And he will redeem Israel from all his iniquities.”

Let’s stand and sing God’s Word back to him with the hope of people who have been freed because of our Savior Jesus. Let’s sing as people who live with the hope of knowing that depression, anxiety, suicide, and all forms of mental illness have an expiration date. Let’s sing as people whose hope and peace is found in Christ alone as we long for the day when mental illness, death, tears, and sorrow will be no more.

Let’s sing together.

*Walk off stage then stand and sing in the front row*

Worship

“I Will Wait For You (Psalm 130)”

“It is Well With My Soul”

*Nick to close in prayer*